When you are going through a divorce, one of the things you will need to consider is how to protect your privacy. It is not unusual for spouses to share their personal data during the marriage and have access to each other’s accounts and devices. You may likely have shared your log in credentials, passwords, answers to security questions or security settings with your spouse during the marriage or stored them in your devices.
Protecting your privacy may not be on the top of your priority list right now with everything else going on, or you may not have contemplated it. However, even if your divorce is amicable, taking proactive steps to protect your online data is vital to keep your privacy and set boundaries. The sooner you regain control over your privacy, the better.
It does not need to come to this extreme, but in high conflict divorces there have been cases of identity theft and cyberattacks by one spouse as an act of revenge - and you may want to avoid becoming a victim.
In any event, this article will serve you as a reminder to update and maintain the security of your digital data, something that is recommended by most technological experts.
So, I would like to share some tips on how to enhance your data security and protect your privacy.
DIGITAL COMMUNICATIONS
You will need to ensure that your spouse is not able to see communications like emails, text messages, video conferencing, … So, it is recommended that you change the passwords for all your email accounts and that you change the PINs/unlock codes for your mobile phone and other devices (laptop, tablet, iPod,…). You may want to think about having additional protection features such as face recognition, fingerprint scanning and dual-factor authentication.
LOCATION
If you have apps for your mobile phone, laptop, tablet or your car that allow certain people to track your location consider disabling them or changing the security settings.
A virtual private network (VPN) can be used to conceal your location, but also your IP address.
SHARED DEVICES
It is better to stop using any shared electronic devices such as a computer, laptop or tablet. Get one of your own if you can.
SHARED SERVICES AND STORAGE
You should also consider what to do about any services you are sharing like:
Online shopping account/s: Amazon, eBay, etc.
App store account/s: Apple/iTunes, Google, etc.
Cloud services: iCloud, Dropbox, etc.
Streaming services: music (Spotify, SoundCloud, etc.), movie (Netflix, Prime, etc.), games (PlayStation Now, Nvidia GeForce Now, etc.)
Photo storage: Google photos, Flickr, etc.
Online clothing stores
Once you have made a decision, you may need to review and change your passwords and security settings. For certain services, it may be advisable to backup all the shared files and then open up a new account.
This will avoid your spouse keeping an eye on what you have been up to and building up bills through your accounts.
If you cannot remember which services and stores you are subscribed to, you can check your bank statements which should show payments made. For apps, you can check on your mobile phone.
In addition, you need to bear in mind whether your accounts are synced with your spouse or your children (e.g. family sharing) and stop any connectivity between devices.
BROWSING
Whilst browsing on the internet, review the security and privacy settings of your browser to make your use of the internet more anonymous. The Chrome browser has Incognito Mode. Internet Explorer includes InPrivate Browsing. Firefox can use Private Window and Safari allows you to switch on private browsing.
Alternatively, as previously mentioned, a VPN can also ensure that your internet surfing is encrypted so that you feel safer online.
SOCIAL MEDIA
First, change your passwords for all your social media accounts so that your spouse cannot access your accounts and post as you.
Then, if you do not want your spouse to view your posts, the easiest solution is not to post at all. At the very least, do not post anything about the divorce, what you are doing, or where you have been whilst your divorce is ongoing. However, if you need to post for whatever reason, unfriend your spouse and anyone who might help them to view your profile and posts. Then, change all your account privacy settings so only friends can view your content.
In addition, disable all location tracking services. Some social media accounts have options to let friends access your current location. If you are concerned about your spouse finding out about your location you need to turn the trackers off even if you trust your friends.
FINANCIAL
It is recommended that you change the login information, passwords, PINs, security settings and security questions of:
Individual bank account/s
Credit card account/s
PayPal or any other money transfer/cash-sharing app/s
Pension account/s
Financial planning product/s
Be mindful that you cannot change joint account/s login information. At the right time, you will need to agree on the closure or transfer of those accounts to one of you and how to split the funds. The same applies to credit cards where one of you is the secondary cardholder or authorised user.
Remember, the financial status quo that was enjoyed during the marriage should remain until a financial settlement is agreed upon. There should not be any financial control such as stopping payments or over-spending. However, you are entitled to protect the money and ensure that it is not misspent.
Do not try to hide your assets as doing this would be detrimental to your case if your divorce matter is still ongoing. Not only will you lose credibility, but you will have compromised any agreements or settlements already made.
If you do not have your own bank account, now it is a good time to be opening an account in your name only, especially if you are in the planning stage and have not communicated your decision to divorce. You may not want your spouse to be aware that you are seeking legal or financial advice, or using divorce coaching services. However, you may have to provide bank statements for such accounts during the legal process. In any event, you are going to need a bank account in your name post-divorce.
These tips should help you protect and regain control of your sensitive digital personal information. If you have any serious concerns or need any further assistance, I recommend that you consult with a technology professional.
I’m Julia Moreno, a divorce coach with a legal background as a family law solicitor guiding women and couples through the legal and emotional turmoil of divorce towards a new and happy life. You can join my mailing list for free nuggets of inspiration, motivation and education for your separation and divorce journey or book a free clarity call with me. You can also contact me at julia@juliamoreno.co.uk.